I have had it with Dreamhost. They are now telling me that I have overused my bandwidth & disk space. Hmm….I use about 1.32gb bandwidth & less then 1000mb space currently. So it isn’t me. It has to be someone else on my server. But they are not listening to me. So I shall leave. I have been with them since 2004 that is six years, so you would think they would listen to me when I say something or at least explain things to me. So I did some digging & from the last time I was looking I came across Holdfire but they were still what I considered a “new” host, but they are now not so “new” & I figure that they should have worked the kinks out, lol. Plus, it gives me a change to bug the devil out of Jordan while I am at it, lol. Just kidding. I honestly prefer to handle everything myself & let the host just keep the site up & remind me to pay the bill, lol.

I was thinking of changing the domain name, but the more I thought about it, the more I just couldn’t change it. But I am going to be changing some things. No longer am I going to have a sub-domain for my blog. My hosting on Dreamhost is paid up until Feb. 7th & hopefully I will have everything moved by then if not then I will pay for another month. But once everything has gotten moved I will change the blog to tigerwhispers.com & the name to Tiger Whispers. I have lots of ideas to implement since I don’t have the weight of trying to create my own themes now. I can just edit & add the CSS codes that I need to add to them. That makes it a lot easier on me to handle. Now all I have to create is my QBee quilts & even those I just have to make the graphics for & that is easy for me.

My goal is a stress free hosting system & I am hoping Holdfire will handle that for me. So I am going to start it in the morning. Once you see the blog moved to tigerwhispers.com then you will know that the hosting move has been successful & I haven’t blown anything up, lol.

Oh, any tips or help with CPanel would have apprieciated.

**Oh, I also don’t have to leave the QBee. The Queen Bee herself says that it is ok & goes along with the rules.**

Mirrored from Amarantine.

They denied me for disability benefits. So now I have no idea what I am going to do. They said that sine my doctor (at the time) was only a physician assistant his word only minimum weight with the court. They also informed me that since I could do cross stitch & work on the computer that I wasn’t disabled enough. Hmm…I didn’t know that filling out a simple blog form was working. As far as my cross stitching goes, I can only do it in about 15 minute spurts as it makes my head hurt & I make mistakes if I do it any longer. But did they ask me this? Nope. I can no longer create my own themes for Wordpress, no longer code, but do they care? No.

Last night when I got the news, I had a complete break down & started bawling & basically had a nervous break down. I haven’t had one of those in about 5 years. If nothing else it showed me that I have way too much stress & drama going on. I have to figure out what is wrong with me or at least show that I am making a head way toward that extent by the time my appeal comes up.

I am going to be going back to my new doctor to get referred to a new neurologist & even to a psychiatrist or psychologist if needed. Hopefully, with this (plus the financial aid) I will be able to get something done. Though the next one that tells me there is nothing wrong with me I may just show him the side of my fist, lol.

So to that extent, Amarantine will be having to go through some changes. I can make changes to pre-made themes, but as far as coding my own, my last theme proved to me that I am no longer capable of doing it. I understand that this will mean that I will need to look at my membership within the QBee & some of the other clubs that I belong to. My domain name doesn’t expire until September & from now until then I am going to be doing some hard thinking as to whether I really want to continue having a website of my own or just quit the entire thing & blog on LiveJournal or Dreamwidth. I will always be online, but I just don’t know if online misses me or if I am even wanted anymore. I am really fighting depression now & I just don’t see a way out of the dark pit that I have been beaten & thrown into. Until I can heal my wounds & find my way out of the pit I am not good to anyone. I will do my best to keep anyone that wants to know updated, but I don’t expect anyone to care.

For the moment, Amarantine will continue to have pre-made themes & such on it. I am just not capable of creating my own anymore. Though I will provide access to the other pages though my commissions will no longer be accepted via the site anymore. I will no longer accept them from my friends. I am not going to provide drama fodder anymore nor am I going to lose anymore friends over stupidity.

Edit: I will fix the sidebar tomorrow. I am too tired & in too much pain today.

Mirrored from Amarantine.

My mother went back to the foot specialist yesterday. He couldn’t determine what bacteria she had cause she has been on antibiotics for so long. But he was able to confirm that the infection was in Mom’s big toe bone, so it will have to come off. *starts bawling again* Well, they won’t do the surgery until Mom gets her diabetes under control. Her sugars have gone from 400 down to 300 & this morning it was 192 which is very very good. Dad & I were whooping & yaying in the kitchen this morning when she told us what the reader said. I am so proud of her. The last time she had it in the one-hundreds was about 20 years ago when she was first diagnosed. So now if she can keep it low they will operate as soon as she gets approved for aid & the surgeon talks to her. I am at the point of wanting it taken care of & at the same time wanting to scream & rave that how in the *bleep* did this happen in the first place. I just don’t know what we are going to do without mom around the house. But we just have to hope & pray for the best.

Mirrored from Amarantine.

I found this article in my Sunday Springfield News-Leader & it struck a cord in me. So here is the article taken directly from the News-Leader site:

Trainers say treat dogs as dogs, not ‘babies’

Owners need to provide pets with structure, experts say.

Kathryn Wall
For The News-Leader

Everyone knows parents whose kids can do no wrong, and when it comes to pet owners, the same “perfect child” image persists for some.

But if the recent controversy in Springfield involving Barty the pit bull is an indication, there are dangers to looking past what others say is a problem.

It can be hard to look into the eyes of that cuddly companion and see anything but a loveable pet, but dog trainer Skye Poitras says that’s a deceiving mind-set.

“I think the problem is people think their dog will be good if they just love him enough,” Poitras said.

In the Springfield case, a pit bull named Barty allegedly terrorized his neighborhood last fall after escaping from his owner’s home. The dog attacked three neighborhood pets, killing one and injuring two others.

After charges and hearings in the case, a final determination to euthanize the animal was made by Kevin Gipson, the health department director.

Barty’s owner, who still maintains that her pet was not at fault, faces criminal animal abuse charges involving the animal. She’ll be in court on Jan. 14.

Trainer Rick Dillender said some problems he sees in pets stem from an idea that the animals are the owner’s “babies.”

“When people say their dogs are like their kids, what they really mean is that they want their dogs to be like their grandkids,” Dillender said. “Kids have rules and structure and chores and homework and those kinds of things. Grandkids get spoiled and then sent off to someone else.”

He said the key for an emotionally healthy pet is structure, and the problems arise when that dog is always treated like the grandkid and never gets the rules that the pet needs — and wants.

“A dog does not want to be loved first,” he said. “They don’t even want food first. What they want first and foremost is to know who’s in charge, because everything in a dog’s behavior is a reflection of where they see themselves in the pecking order in the home.”

Dillender, a trainer from New Mexico, said many pet behavior problems can be remedied by changing the owner’s behavior.

Poitras, of Salt Lake City, Utah, is part of a network of trainers across the country designed to address pet needs.

She recommends having the right balance between affection and structure.

“If you want to see it more, pay attention to it, if you want to see it less, make sure you let your dog know that there’s a consequence,” she said in regard to good and bad behavior.

Poitras is part of the Community Training Partners program, a project of Best Friends Animal Society. That group’s hotline gets more than 60,000 calls a year about pet issues, said program director Mike Harmon.

“Sometimes people are on the right track, but if you don’t have that kind of experience or they’re not necessarily dog-savvy, then it’s hard for you to give accurate information over the phone,” he said.

So the Community Partners Program was born to address more serious issues face to snout.

Currently pilot programs exist in Chicago, Salt Lake City, New Jersey, Las Vegas and Los Angeles.

Harmon said the program seeks to team owners with trainers to take care of behavioral problems and prevent the dog from being sent to a shelter.

He said the program also teams with local shelters to train dogs in their care to make them adoptable and decrease the euthanasia rate.

“Ultimately the community pays for euthanasia, so this really is a community problem,” he said.

Eliminating euthanasia is one of their top goals, so when Best Friends learned the pit bulls seized in quarterback Michael Vick’s illegal dog fighting case were set to be euthanized, the organization stepped in and took 22 of the dogs to their Dogtown facility in Utah.

“By nature pit bulls are very people-loving dogs,” Harmon said.

He said pit bulls are subject to unfair stereotypes and media messages.

“The problem is, every time there’s an incident with a pit, it makes the news, and that’s not the case with other breeds,” he said.

Harmon said it’s all about the environment the animal learns in, but that doesn’t mean it’s wired that way for life.

He said many of the animals they get calls about have issues with anxiety or fear, and many can be taken care of by training.

He did say, however, that sometimes there’s nothing that can be done.

“There’s a very small percentage of cases that we’ve seen where it is genetics — where the wiring is off,” he said. “But most of the time there are things you could do to work with the dog.”

Poitras said owners who feel their dog is becoming dangerous should consult a professional.

Dillender said many behaviors like aggression and extreme fear should be taken care of, but he warned not to automatically think the dog is troubled.

“Giving people a laundry list of signals that says, ‘this is a problem, this is a problem, this is a problem,’ is setting a lot of people up to get really paranoid about their dogs for no good reason,” he said.

He said owners should be aware of what is normal for their dog. He said dogs are complex creatures that cannot be easily put into categories.

“A dog’s behavior is always contextual,” Dillender said. “One behavior in one context can mean one thing and the exact same behavior in a different context can mean an entirely different issue.”

Harmon said any change in behavior should lead the owner to get a medical check. He said sometimes animals have increased anxiety when something is physically wrong.

He also recommended getting animals spayed or neutered. He said it tends to limit aggression and has health benefits, like preventing certain diseases.

He said the best way to tell if your dog is troubled is to look at how it interacts with its environment. If the dog is spooked by strangers, overly aggressive at times, nervous during walks or barks excessively, that dog is communicating that something is wrong — and eventually that dog will try to remedy the situation, dangerous or not.

Debra Horwitz, a veterinarian and veterinary behaviorist, said it’s all about communication.

She recommends thinking from the dog’s perspective.

“People have become less aware of what normal pet behavior is,” she said.

She said something like growling isn’t necessarily a red flag for a bad dog.

“What it means is that the dog is uncomfortable with the situation,” she said. “It doesn’t mean the dog is bad.”

One of Poitras’ latest cases involved a dog that was communicating anxiety, but was considered by others to just be a bad dog.

Poitras came in to the situation after the verdict had already been decided –Zero had to be taken to a rescue facility or be put down.

Zero had repeatedly gotten out of his 6-foot outdoor kennel and ran through the neighborhood. The last time he had, he chased after a boy on a bike.

The judge had decided Zero was a dangerous dog, but Zero’s family wasn’t willing to give up, so they called Best Friends.

After numerous letters from the organization, hiring a lawyer and getting a new judge, the family was eventually allowed to continue their work with Poitras to see if it would help.

Poitras recognized that Zero was so attached to his family that he had severe separation anxiety. After a few weeks of training, Zero was given another hearing.

On the condition that he and the family continue training sessions, Zero was deemed a safe dog.

For people looking for more information, Poitras recommended visiting the Association of Pet Dog Trainer’s Web site at www.apdt.com. She also recommends “Dog-Friendly Dog Training,” a book by Andrea Arden.

Additional Facts
Dog trainers in the area
- Cathy Hawkins, Certified Pet Dog Trainer, 862-3248
- All About Dawgs, 844-7506
- All Dogs and Company, 883-3485
- Springfield Side Kick Dog Training, 866-6490
- Carolyn Krause, 866-2088
- Paws Express Dog Training, 848-8863
Nixa
- Bark Busters, 724-0907
Ozark
- On The ‘Spot’ Dog Training, 581-2787

Hmm…it is interesting, but I disagree with some of it. My two inside dogs are my children, but they have to follow the rules of the house. I completely understand that dogs run in a pack & in order for them to be happy they have to know who is boss & where they stand in the “pack”. I teach all my dogs the same simple commands, & they all learn to follow them or there are consequences. Yes, there are some dog owners that believe that their dogs can do no wrong, but not every single owner that considers their dogs their children think that. I sure don’t I am actually stricter with my dogs then I am with my adopted daughter.

“When people say their dogs are like their kids, what they really mean is that they want their dogs to be like their grandkids,” Dillender said. “Kids have rules and structure and chores and homework and those kinds of things. Grandkids get spoiled and then sent off to someone else.”

Hmm…not my two. They know when I say sit, they sit. When I say bedtime, they go to their room. When I say no or drop it, they will either stop what they are doing or drop what they have in their mouth. I taught them this from the very beginning. Along with taking things from my hand with a soft mouth. Also they learned that no matter what they had I would & could take it away from them. It doesn’t matter if they had a piece of raw meat, if I wanted it back, I could reach down & take it from them & put my hand right next to their mouth without saying a word & they wouldn’t do a thing except let me have it. The same goes for my 70lb. Siberian Husky/German Shepard mix outside. All you have to do is show them who is the pack leader & where they stand in the pack. I never had to have a dog trainer for that. My dogs do it because they choose to do it because they want to. I am a mistress not a owner. There is a difference.

Mirrored from Amarantine.

I am so mad I could spit nails. This is completely wrong. Ok, I am sorry. I’ll give you the background first. I got the Springfield News-Leader this morning & on the first page I read the following story.

Barty the pit bull put down amid controversy

Nuisance committee had yet to submit decisions; owner shares last meal.

Wes Johnson
News-Leader

After a last meal of Ice House beer and hot dogs, Barty the pitbull mix was euthanized Thursday at the Springfield Animal Shelter.

His owner, Sandy Kelley, was allowed to say goodbye to the dog — she brought him his favorite treats — after Health Department Director Kevin Gipson decided the dog had to be euthanized.

Gipson made the decision without waiting for a recommendation from the Greene County Vicious and Nuisance Dog Committee, which met last week to hear a case for the first time.

Barty allegedly terrorized his neighborhood last fall after escaping from Kelley’s home. The dog attacked three neighborhood pets, killing one and injuring two others.

Ann Schonert, a member of the vicious dog committee, said she hadn’t yet turned in her recommendation, nor had she heard from Gipson.

She questioned the value of having the committee convene if decisions would be made without the group’s recommendation.

Vicious dog committee member Steve Short couldn’t attend last week’s meeting but expected to receive a transcript so he could weigh in.

“I didn’t get anything subsequent to the meeting,” Short said. “It appears I wasn’t involved in the decision.”

A third committee member, Virgil Hill, recused himself from the Barty hearing because of a conflict of interest with one of the witnesses.

Both Schonert and Short said they would have recommended Barty be euthanized.

Gipson said he didn’t receive any feedback from Schonert or Short after the meeting.

“I had talked in-depth with Ann (before the hearing) and her feeling was that the dog probably needed to be euthanized,” Gipson said. “We have yet to get any comment from Steve Short. We decided to go ahead with euthanization. It was fairly evident which way I was going to rule.”

Clay Goddard, assistant health department director, said the department opted to waive $600 in kennel fees if Kelley agreed to sign the dog over for destruction.

He met with Kelley on Wednesday and advised her that if she wanted to block the euthanasia order in court, she would have to put down a six-month deposit to cover Barty’s kennel fees — about $1,600.

“I live on Social Security and can’t afford to pay those costs, so I signed Barty over to them,” she said, weeping.

Kelley said she appreciated the animal shelter staff who drove out and picked her up so she could have a last meal with Barty.

“I don’t have a car, so it was very nice of them to do that,” she said.

However, she was concerned about health issues Barty faced while in confinement.

She said Barty lost a lot of weight and his tail had been bleeding for days from contact with the pen’s chain-link wire.

Goddard acknowledged the problems. He said Barty’s diet had been changed to slow his weight loss, and his tail was being treated.

“However, it’s a challenging environment for any dog to remain confined out there for a long time,” he said.

The health department plans to deliver Barty’s body to Kelley.

She will bury him in her backyard, next to where Barty’s mother is buried.

Kelley lives just outside Springfield city limits, in Greene County.

Shelia Alvarado, whose Chihuahua was killed by Barty, said she felt “a bit more secure” now that Barty is dead.

“I would like to think Barty would have been a completely different dog in a different home,” Alvarado said.

“I am relieved. I know that dog will never hurt anybody else’s dogs and there’s no chance for it to hurt any children in the neighborhood.”

After killing Alvarado’s Chihuahua, Barty attacked the Alvarados’ Doberman, Yako.

Alvarado said the dog has recovered from its wounds but at a cost of $700 in veterinary bills.

Kelley still faces criminal animal abuse charges involving Barty. She’ll be in court on Jan. 14.

Alvarado said the Greene County prosecuting attorney will likely seek restitution from Kelley for the doberman’s veterinary bills.

You can read the other parts to the story here, here, & here. They are all pdfs on my server printed directly from the Springfield News-Leader site.

To my understanding Mr. Gibson made it to where Ms. Kelley had two options. Either come up with $1600 in kennel costs or let them kill her dog. Who does Mr. Gibson think he is? Why have the committee if he isn’t going to wait for the decision to be made. Yes, I understand that Barty was a Pit Bull, but that is no excuse. I own a Siberian Husky/German Shepard mix. Trust me, my 70lb. dog is more dangerous if he decided to take me out. Huskies are closer to wolves then a Pit Bull. Yes, I know Pit Bull’s jaw lock. In my opinion, people’s opinion are jaded when it comes to the Pit Bull. Plain & simple. No, I would not have one simply because of the locking jaw, but I don’t condemn them on the spot. I know several Pit Bulls that are the sweetest dogs in the world & wouldn’t hurt a fly. Is that the case with Barty? I don’t know. Is this case wrong? Yes, in my opinion.

All Mr. Gipson did was make it look like he was afraid that the Greene County Vicious and
Nuisance Dog Committee would come back with a decision that Mr. Gipson would not like. Well, Mr. Gipson I have a little bit of new for you. YOU ARE NOT GOD! You do not have the right to choose what lives & dies. I am so thankful that I do not live in Greene County if you are there. I believe that the county needs to look are you again. I don’t think you are the person for this job. You are a heartless man. Have you considered that maybe the other dogs started the fight?

Second of all, why was a Chihuahua outside? They are not an outside dog, people! I own one. They are a purely an inside dog. Geesh. Chihuahuas think they are German Shepards without realizing they don’t have the size to back it up. Mine tried to take my 70lb husky on when they first met. Hmm…maybe that is what happened. But did anyone stop to think about that? NO, they automatically said. Barty is a Pit Bull so he started the fight & it is his fault so it is Ms. Kelley’s fault. It is a dog’s nature to play fight or fight when they are together. Anyone with more then one dog can attest to that. It is a crying shame that a innocent creature has to be put to sleep just because we can not handle it like grown ups.

As I read, Ms. Kelley, offered to keep Barty inside for the rest of his life if she was allowed to keep him. But instead, Mr. Gipson informs her (a woman that lives on Social Security only) that she will have to either pay a six month deposit on the kennel cost, about $1600, in order to block the destroy order or sign poor Barty over to be destroyed. What was she supposed to do?

At least the animal shelter staff was nice enough to drive her out to share a last meal with Barty so he knew that he was loved & that it wasn’t her idea or what she wanted. This was wrong & it makes me sick. I honestly bawled when I read this & while I typed this. Shame on you Health Department Director Kevin Gipson. I hope you never lose something that is precious to you. I take that back, I hope you do. Then maybe you will grow a heart, but I somehow doubt it.

Mirrored from Amarantine.

Well, it is finally 2010. I don’t really know if I am happy about it or not. On one hand I am happy that 2009 is over, but yet, 2010 is not looking to be such a wonderful year. But it is my lot in life & I have to make the most of it. But that is fine, I have survived worst.

I thought I needed a new theme to go with the new year. I went for a purple & turquoise theme this time. I love the colors but hate the design, so don’t expect it to stay online for long. I know, I never leave my designs up. The dogs in the title are for my Candy-girl & Mac Baby. Other then that there isn’t much to this design. So go & explore (not much has changed this time) & see if I changed anything.

I am going to do my best to use tags in 2010, but I am not promising anything.

EDIT: 01-06-10 :: I just can’t stand this design. I am going to re-work it & make it anew. I think I will keep the colors though cause I really like them. But this design has to go. I just can’t stand it. I thought I would like it, but it is driving me bananas. I shudder every time I see it.

Mirrored from Amarantine.

My mother’s infection has gone to the bone. They will do a MRI on the toe & on the sore that is on the other foot tomorrow. So now the only thing left to do is wait until it heals up enough for the surgeon to remove the toe. With her diabetes & her weight they are saying that it is a dangerous surgery & that she could be in the hospital for a while. They say she has a good chance of making it through the surgery, but like with all surgery there is a chance. This is not good. My mother is the one that holds this family (even if the family argues & sounds like we all hate each other) together. We honestly don’t know what to do without her. So if she is in the hospital I have no idea what is going to happen at home. Father & I will either try to kill each other or the house may explode, lol.

The two dogs are the other thing. Their world revolves around Mom. That is going to be interesting. Shiloh will not know what to do without seeing Mom everyday. He is going to be very vocal about his unhappiness also. I wonder if we could sneak a 15lb. Schnauzer & a 10lb. Bichon Frise into the hospital to see her? Hmm…I’ll have to think about that.

As for me, I haven’t been more then a week without seeing her every day. Though I imagine I will handle it a lot better then father. They haven’t been apart for the last 32 years longer then three days, lol. Daddy is going to go crazy. But if he thinks that he isn’t going to be taking me to see her most every day he is full of it. I am not going to leave my mother in a hospital (the same bloody hospital that let my beloved Grandmother die) he is full of it.

So for the next month or so I will be online every day like normal, but I will not be active like I usually am. This came at a good & bad time. With the drama that is going on (things need to cool down) & with my mother I need some time just to relax. Since I refuse to take the blame for something I didn’t do or start, I would also like to say that this in no states that I am wrong in any way. I refuse to get stressed out over people acting like five year olds & can not get over something. I also refuse to justify every little thing I type on Twitter or Facebook. I live in a free country that allows me to type & say what I choose to. If you don’t like then that is your problem. You have just the same right as I do so stop trying to infringe on my rights.

The bad timing is that it is the beginning of Tax Season & Dad needs her at the office since I can’t work because of my seizures. If she is in the hospital then Dad has to handle the tax work & the bookkeeping all by himself. We handle over 800 tax returns every year. That is a lot of return for a single person to handle along with all the clients that he does the book work for. But if there is one thing that we do very well is that we survive everything that life throws at us. Though I have to admit that I wish it wouldn’t so hard all the time.

Mirrored from Amarantine.